Here's how I parent with old wounds.

Reader —

How can I make sure I'm not coddling my kid?

That's a question I used to ask myself a lot.

I was raised to believe I had to be "firm" — that if I didn't hand out consequences, I would be seen as being too "lenient" or if my child wasn't AFRAID, then how would they learn?

Obedience means respect, right? Sound familiar?

You might have a little voice in your head telling you...

My child doesn’t respond to empathy.
I'm afraid I'm being too soft.
I'm worried they're not afraid of consequences.

What I eventually realized was—

It wasn't a lack of desire, motivation, or effort holding me back from being the parent my child needed.

It was something deeper, something wired into my nervous system.

I didn't grow up with calm, safe relationships.
What I knew was chaos, confusion, and caretaking the emotions of the adults around me.

I remember a cousin telling me how she once left my house in a panic because my stepfather was raging through the house. I didn't know until we were in our 40s.

At the time, I don't even think I noticed or considered it strange — it was just my life.

And I carried those patterns into adulthood.
​Not knowingly. Not intentionally.
But because my brain learned survival first.

So I shut down my big emotions to try and protect my child from them, thinking this meant I was staying in control.

I avoided my complicated feelings because I didn't have an example of what it looked like to face them safely.

But we can't sidestep feelings to avoid harm.
Doing what we think is "right" at the expense of our own well-being.

When I realized my child wasn't feeling what I intended, things started to shift for me.

I stopped trying to change HER behavior — and started rewiring MINE.

And it all started with one small choice: my perspective shift.

When I slowed down to hear my own inner dialogue...

When I could pause long enough to realize what I actually wanted to say (beneath the harsh tone, reactions, and urgency)...

Everything changed!

What if there was a way you could move beyond the scripted examples and make long-lasting changes with your kids...

What if there was something you could reach for in the moment, and read again and again on your own time to help...

Repair ruptures.
Release inherited stories.
Recognize what is really going on with your kids and YOURSELF!

For me, the Conscious Communication Cards became the bridge between intention and action, and there were 8 lessons I learned to...

Help me stay grounded when I want to yell.
Give me language when I am out of words.
Come back to myself — so I could show up for my kid.

You don't need to be perfect.
Your child doesn't need that.

They need to feel understood.
​And that starts with how you speak to yourself.

If you're ready to connect with your true values – even on the days when it's hard — I'll show you the 8 lessons that changed my life when you join me in the Peaceful Solutions series.

It's where I share what helped me rewire my own habits, shift my inner voice, and finally begin to feel confident in how I show up as a parent.

You're here.
You're doing the hard work.
That matters.

Get the weekly support and ideas you need. ➡️ Join the Peaceful Solutions class here.

Remember, conscious, not perfect! 🫶🏼

Warmly,

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