ONE thing I learned to do that made a HUGE difference.

Reader - Every time my daughter plops down on the couch and slides up next to me to willingly share her day or seek my advice or my "listening ear," I pinch myself.

This is what I dreamed of when she was born.

I'm SO incredibly grateful for one important accomplishment: I have a rock-solid relationship with my young adult child (something I didn't have with my parents).

A young woman with long brown hair smiling and standing next to her mother who is also smiling.

I share this not to boast about my family (because - it's about being conscious, not perfect), but hopefully, it will inspire you to know this can be your reality.

I did not enter parenting with a plan OR the best examples of a healthy parent-child relationship. I was raised in an unstable and physically, mentally, and emotionally toxic environment.

While conscious parenting was an intuitive path for me (I knew I wouldn't continue the family legacy), it was NOT an easy one.

I've had to accept that I might always have the urge to yell, become judgmental, or get defensive.

But that doesn't mean I have to give in to those feelings.

The ONE thing I learned to do that made a HUGE difference was to let go of my emotional baggage (aka increase my stress tolerance). Then, I was free to decode my child's behavior and address the root causes.

After (18) years of practice (and despite not having much tolerance as a new parent), now - more often than not, I can notice whatever is happening without judgment instead of pushing against it.

And THAT is a key skill to have.

Emotionally intelligent discipline is a powerful, deliberate practice of allowing children to learn through reflection and co-regulation (instead of pushing them to react to our demands out of fear).

Being tolerant and emotionally aware doesn't mean we ignore behavior or throw up our hands and say, "Welp, that's just how our kids are."

NO! It means we learn how to shift our perspective and work with the intensity of their feelings to help support them as they build skills.

Foundational LIFE SKILLS that will serve them in more than just personal relationships.

These skills (like adaptability, flexibility, resiliency, and conflict resolution, to name a few) will help them succeed in multiple life areas:

✨ Personally

✨ Professionally

✨ Academically

✨ Physically

✨ Emotionally

✨ Mentally

✨ Financially

✨ and in Community / Leadership roles

Attention to these skills is especially important for sensitive and neurodivergent people because they might:

Struggle more to keep up with relationships.
Have support needs in several life areas.
Need help advocating for themselves.
Appear more rigid and inflexible about their preferences.
Seem unaware of their sensory overwhelm.
Ignore their gut feelings (potential safety concerns).
Be less motivated to make changes when they don't like a situation.
Express their point of view in nonconforming ways.

But they don't have to feel stuck.

Emotional intelligence is the superpower of conscious parenting.

Young boy around age 4-5 dressed up as superhero with a cap and goggles, holding his hand in the air.

It's not our love or intentions that matter most - but our willingness to be open, curious, nonjudgmental, and grow with our children - that makes all the difference.

You CAN have the relationship (and influence) that you've always wanted. More importantly, you and your kids deserve it.

For now….

Let go of all the self-blame, feelings of failure, or anything else that keeps you stuck in shame and self-doubt.

🙌🏻 Your next step: Notice without judgment. This weekend, just notice what you see (or feel) without judgment. Think ALL the thoughts and have ALL the feelings. Just see what comes up.

What do you notice about the things your child says and does? How do they make you feel? What is motivating you to take action and seek change?

And if you missed them, catch up on the classes I sent this week so you can…

👉🏻 Understand what it means to live in a brain/body that's wired differently.

👉🏻 Create a plan of action to address your family's current situation.

👉🏻 Get curious about which life skills your child is struggling with most.

I'd love to hear what comes up for you, so feel free to hit "reply" and drop me a note.

Then - look out for my email next week. I'll take you inside the Sensitive Kids course and show you how it can help you tackle confusing behaviors, pinpoint the exact skills to strengthen, and feel less exhausted (and alone) parenting children who feel SO much.

Talk soon!

Warmly,

p.s. Mark your calendar because I'm holding a LIVE session next Wednesday, May 1st, @11am ET.

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