When listening feels impossible.

Reader —

How has the pursuit of curiosity been going?

I wouldn't be surprised if said... 🤔

Nope. No curiosity because I'm too tired!

I just don't have enough compassion left for my kids!

I'm so tired of them whining about the same things over and over.

When will they get over it?

What if they never do?

I need to fix this.

🚨 These are signs of listening burnout (where you do not have one ounce of patience left).

When you've been jumping into the empathy pool without your own life jacket for far too long, you start to feel like you're drowning.

You've spent soooo much time trying to hear EVERY feeling, soothe every upset, and anticipate every need that you have nothing left for yourself.

If you've ever...

Eaten your child's leftovers for breakfast because there was no time left to prepare one for yourself. (I totally used to skip meals AND snacks!)
Agreed to a sleepover or playdate despite being totally exhausted. (Ugh, being a "Yes" parent was exhausting. 😵‍💫)
Put on a brave face—even though you were upset—because you didn't want to worry your kids. (Suppressing my emotions wasn't helpful for anyone.)
Ignored your body's call for rest and healing or postponed medical appointments. (Who me? Putting off my health or self-care? 🫣)
Stayed up late doing work, laundry, preparing lunches, snacks, etc. (Oohh, but sacrificing sleep was my "superpower.")

You've probably put others' needs before your own. Sometimes, that's necessary.

🫂 But what happens when your empathy runs out?

Maybe you've started to think you're the problem.
Too broken to change the future for your kids.
Too angry about the past to help yourself.

If you feel like you're failing because it seems impossible to keep showing up with compassion, I want you to know something.

✔️ It's okay for kids to be disappointed.
✔️ It's okay for them to be mad (even at you).
✔️ And it's okay for them to have big feelings you can't fix.

Because you matter here, too. ✨

Some of our biggest challenges happen because no one ever taught us how to stay connected to our kids' feelings without abandoning our own.

We think the goal is to somehow absorb every emotion our kids have until they magically learn to manage themselves.

But the truth is, we can't be their whole life raft.

I mean, how can they learn to deal with their pain if we never let them feel it?

But you know what's really hard to do?
Be compassionate and patient when you have...

Financial responsibilities weighing on you.
Or a sick child that needs attention.
Or a mental health crisis that takes priority.
Or an ailing parent who depends on you.

Modern life feels increasingly chaotic and busy. And we can hit "listening burnout" quicker than we might realize.

So, today, ask yourself, "What feels possible right now?"
If the answer is, "Nothing."
Don't give up. Keep asking. 🙏🏼

You don't have to know the whole journey.
You just have to take the next step.

🙌🏻 To help you keep going: I'm holding a free webinar "What to Do When Empathy Runs Out" next Wednesday, 7/16 @ 2 pm EDT.

I'd love to help you feel empowered to meet YOUR needs without resorting to fear and control (especially if you've had a difficult childhood).

👉🏻 Click here to save your spot and mark your calendar for July 16th @2 pm EDT.

You can send me your questions ahead of time (because I'd love to give you real, live, concrete advice about your situation).

Until next time, please remember, conscious — not perfect!

Talk soon,