Are your words pushing kids away?
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Reader, It seems like adults who prioritize emotional connection are often accused of raising brats who take no accountability. I get these comments on my socials all the time. We're labeled as "too kind" (aka permissive) or "soft," and told that kids won't learn unless we're firm and disciplined. They insist we want to reduce discomfort rather than build resilience, and it's our fault that teachers can't teach and kids are barely functioning. I don't doubt that these things are happening in some places. But that doesn't mean emotionally intelligent parenting is the cause. I've said this before: being kind isn't the goal. I pay attention to my language, my tone, and the relationship I'm building with my child. I want to remove control as a teaching tool and obedience as a goal because neither prepares kids to navigate conflict or create and sustain healthy relationships. And here is the part that makes us uncomfortable... Even if we're not intentionally trying to control our kids, some words will still create distance. Make them pull away and ignore our guidance. And it's not always the obvious ones. Ever thought about how your words dictate your child's response? π I pulled this short clip from last week's communication class to show you how our words impact kids β even when we think we're being helpful. There are always times when we need to be unwavering in our decisions, but we often escalate tensions more than we realize. And for what? Temporary control? I get it. I've been the irritated parent enough times to know my tone is not always inviting. But I also learned that calm delivery doesnβt automatically mean "not controlling." Is your delivery creating resistance without you realizing it? In this short clip, I walk you through a quick quiz to help you see whether you're pushing your kids away, or pulling them closer (and strengthening your influence). β‘οΈ Watch it here.β Remember, it's about being conscious β not perfect! Thanks so much for reading and watching. Talk soon. Warmly, p.s. If this resonates, we're going deeper inside this live series (including how to remove coercion without being permissive). Join us here or join an on-demand class for access.β βββ |
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