Teach Through Love

Reader — I remember a time when I found myself thinking, “I’m being empathetic. Things are improving. So why am I still so frustrated?” There seemed to be something missing in those days. I’d follow the steps. First, I’d try to “regulate” and then I’d help my child. We were using the sensory tools, and my kid was feeling pretty good. But I was a mess. I was tired of listening. I was out of patience. I felt... neglected. Who was this helping? Is compassion ever the wrong response?Was building...

Hi Reader — Your webinar replay and slides handout are now ready to watch (thank you for your patience — there were some video upload challenges). ✨ Here's a quick recap of the highlights: Your struggles validated. Know what to do when your control brain takes over. Change the patterns that keep you stuck. Thank you to everyone who joined us. It was so great to connect live! If you missed us, take some time for yourself today — you won't regret it! 👉🏻 Watch it here. Have a great weekend! And...

Reader, I know that sitting here behind my computer proclaiming, "You can set boundaries without punishing or losing it with your kids," can seem unsatisfying. Great in theory, but it can feel almost impossible to achieve some days. How can we have both personal peace and regulated kids when our needs always seem to compete? I want them to stop making noise.They won't stop yelling.And then... we snap. Like struggling children, we also can't think past the present moment when we're...

Reader — There were times when I thought to myself, "Is this ever going to get better?" There were days when my child pushed back hard, shredding my compassion to bits. I'd feel my chest tighten as I laid into her with words I swore I'd never use. 💥 Like that time we sat in the parking lot fighting about her going to school. "Get out of the f&*%ing car and go to class. I swear to God...!" When I felt frustrated, embarrassed, or disrespected, it was tempting to reach for a quick and easy tool...

Reader— It's another week when my words fail me. The growing, tragic loss of life. The heartbreak of thousands and thousands of people. 😢💔 I'm fully aware that suffering, death, and tragedy are not new. But it doesn't make my heart ache any less for the victims of the Texas floods. My heart goes out to everyone affected by this tragedy. I join the millions around the country who are praying for your peace and comfort. 🙏🏼 I don't ever want to become numb to unnecessary death and destruction....

Reader — How has the pursuit of curiosity been going? I wouldn't be surprised if said... 🤔 Nope. No curiosity because I'm too tired! I just don't have enough compassion left for my kids! I'm so tired of them whining about the same things over and over. When will they get over it? What if they never do? I need to fix this. 🚨 These are signs of listening burnout (where you do not have one ounce of patience left). When you've been jumping into the empathy pool without your own life jacket for...

Reader, Did you hear? Popular opinion on conscious parenting is out. We've gone too far and raised a generation of anxious, entitled brats. Apparently, it's Gen X's fault. (Funny, we've finally been remembered, only to be blamed. 😆) I'm not convinced. If we've "overcorrected," it's certainly not because we listened to our kids' feelings TOO much. If anything, it's that we forgot to pay enough attention to our own. Too many of us jump in with empathy before we've learned how to offer ANY to...

Reader: What do you think? "I think kids need to have a healthy sense of fear. I feared my mother, and it was needed." A colleague said this to me recently. In the past, hearing something like this would fire me up instantly. 🔥 I'd feel defensive, frustrated, and ready to retreat (or rage) rather than engage. Growing up steeped in the dysfunction of psychological warfare left me cool on emotional manipulation masked as "discipline." But over time (and with a lot of support), I've learned to...

Reader — How can I make sure I'm not coddling my kid? That's a question I used to ask myself a lot. “The roots of resilience…are to be found in the sense of being understood by and existing in the mind and heart of a loving, attuned, and self-possessed other.” ―Diana Fosha, Psychologist I was raised to believe I had to be "firm" — that if I didn't hand out consequences, I would be seen as being too "lenient" or if my child wasn't AFRAID, then how would they learn? Obedience means respect,...