You don’t have to be “healed” to be a good parent. Promise.

Reader,

This is your 60-second reminder that you don’t have to “heal” your childhood to be a GOOD parent.

At first, I thought “healing my childhood” was this moment that would come and wash everything clean. 💦
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Behold fresh, new parenting ideas.💡
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Um, no. 😬
I think of healing like exercise (funny universe joke).
It’s an ongoing practice, not a single moment of revelation.
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It’s the tiny exercises I do every time I get dysregulated.

(Sometimes I literally grab my own Communication Cards because my brain still blanks out when my teenager tells me, “I’m wrong.”)

Talking myself into safety.
Looking for a focus point. A color. A picture.
Butterfly hugs.

It’s not easy to suddenly stop reacting impulsively to behavior.

Our nervous system has a set point.
It’s been conditioned to protect us at all costs.

And sometimes "safety" feels like telling our kids to “Knock it off, or else!”

But it's a temporary moment of "peace."
Our brains get in the way. A lot. 🧠

Sometimes in those subtle ways that we don’t even notice until we’re spiraling, wishing we could flee our lives, wondering how it all went wrong.

I don’t want to tell you how to parent.
​I want to help us understand our kids so we can stop jumping to conclusions about who they are based on what we think we see.

Like if we see young kids hit or lie.
We often assume they’ll be aggressive or untrustworthy.

Then we shout:

Now, on my best days, I say things like,

(This is when I can see things with fresh eyes.)

Then I give time to reflect. 🪞
Because kids are more open to change AFTER their reality has been acknowledged.

(If words don’t come easily in the moment, here are the ones I use.)

We can’t rush maturity.
Punishment doesn’t help a brain grow.

And finding the right words that build skills AND keep us close IS one of the hardest parts.

Practice reprogramming your brain to access the words that help soothe the moments.

Grounded phrases, but more importantly, changing your perspective so you can still connect, even when your brain is fried because you’ve got 36 different to-do lists running in your mind.

If staying neutral feels like it's only for parents with "easy" kids, this kind of support can be the reset your nervous system needs.

❤️🩹 Reconnect, repair, and try again.

That’s how "healing" works in our house.
We get hurt → we mend.
We disconnect → we repair.
We mess up → we circle back.
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​So please don’t think you need to be “healed” to show up for your kids.
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I’m NOT healed. 🙇🏻
I’m healing every day.

And especially in this busy time of year, when tempers can flare and sensory overwhelm is running the show, please remember, conscious — not perfect!​
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Warmly,

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🎁 Holiday Savings continue this month.​
The right words to help your kids build their skills. They're not just scripts. They change the WHOLE game. Find the words that work here.

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​Peaceful Solutions for Parents​
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